No relationship is flawless, but sometimes serious issues can arise that threaten the connection or leave one person feeling betrayed and hurt. Whether you’re trying to salvage your relationship or move on, here’s the best way to deal with serious relationship issues.
Evaluate the situation.
After a major betrayal like infidelity, the rebuilding of trust can take a lot of work on both sides. The first thing the betrayed partner should do is assess the damage and decide if they want to salvage the relationship and work towards forgiveness. It’s not up to the unfaithful partner to determine this, but they must also have a willingness to mend the damage they caused. Sometimes it’s not infidelity, but incompatibility issues, like lack of physical intimacy that may threaten a relationship. Ask yourself seriously if you’ll ever be able to put major differences aside or if they’re dealbreakers.
It’s important to talk with family members and trusted friends to get some perspective on the situation, as so many people are actually victims of abuse and may not be able to see it for themselves. Know the signs of domestic abuse, physical and emotional, and look for any red flags in your relationship. If your partner or spouse hurts you on a regular basis, whether verbally or physically, it doesn’t matter if they’re a cheater—you’re better off moving on and trying to heal on your own.
Communicate your feelings.
A healthy relationship requires honest communication, especially when there are disagreements or serious problems. Whether you’ve decided to work through these issues or end the relationship, communicating your feelings is an important part of the healing process. If you’re moving on, expressing your feelings can give you a great sense of closure. Communication is the only way to work through things if you want to stay together.
Infidelity can cause deep hurt, and is usually a sign of unresolved personal issues. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with emotions and have no idea how to repair a relationship after infidelity, couples therapy can be a big help. Trained therapists can help you process and vocalize your emotions, uncover the root problems that led to the infidelity, and find a path forward. Though it’s hard, it’s definitely possible to reach forgiveness and understanding and see your spouse as the person you first fell in love with, not as a cheater.
Move forward.
People make mistakes, but they can be forgiven, and wounds can heal. If you’re going to move forward with your relationship, it’s important to do just that. Move on and don’t get stuck in the past. You may decide that you want to take a break and need some space, and that’s fine, too. Remove the things that remind you of the relationship, and try to focus on yourself for a bit to get some clarity. You can get a storage unit to keep things out of sight but still within reach. It’s easy to find a nearby storage facility to house your belongings as you work through your mistrust—just search usselfstorage.com with your zip code and select the amenities you need, like air conditioning. When you’re ready to make a decision, your things will be waiting for you in the storage unit, right where you left them.
Sometimes the best decision is to move on without your partner or spouse. If so, you don’t have to jump into a new relationship right away, and you really shouldn’t after going through serious relationship issues. The first month should be focused on healing, which isn’t limited to counseling. Having fun is also an important component, which is why planning a girls’ night with your besties is a great way to heal and move on. Have a spa night with homemade face masks and cocktails, or host a craft night with snacks and music. Either way, it’s important to have a strong support system to get you through the heartbreak and feeling like yourself again.
Relationship issues can leave us emotionally scarred if we don’t deal with them in a healthy way, which isn’t good for you or your future partners. If you’re trying to work through things, get some insight, talk about your feelings, and try to move on with your life.
